There is the fear of failure. The fear of things not turning out the way we had hoped. The fear of what others may say. The fear of the challenge and what it implies. I think even at times, deep down, we have a fear of actually succeeding as well, because succeeding imposes on us some kind of change - and let's face it, change can be intimidating.
And so these fears, along with the challenge of starting something new, paralyze us. They dumb us, and we are faced with an internal struggle that we can make no sense of, that people around us don't understand (because as far as they are concerned, you have all the tools you need to succeed), and we have no idea how to solve.
I write about this because I struggle with it every single day.
So I started reading success stories of people that have done big things. What was their secret? How were they able to look past these fears and accomplish something of importance and impact?
Here's what I found:
- Confront fear: What is the worst that can happen if that fear comes true? If failure happens, so what? You get up and try again, with a different method, or idea. Get a mentor and talk it out. Bouncing ideas and getting feedback with someone before, during, and after is always a huge encouragement and support point.
- Write them down: Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. In one write your fears down, and in the other one write down what would happen if they came true. With this you will see that while some fears are completely legit, we also tend to let them intimidate us more than they should. Keep that piece of paper and every time a fear haunts you go back to it and remind yourself what the worst outcome could be.
- Take it one day at a time: Sometimes our ideas are so big and require so much work that it overwhelms us. Yes, it is important to see the big picture, but also to take little steps towards the completion of our projects. Taking it one day at a time gives us the ability to think objectively on the short term activities without compromising our goals. How not to lose sight of the finish line: Write a general draft of what you need to accomplish and divide it into weekly or monthly activities, then sit down and outline the details every week/month (one week/month in advance).
- Put on a balance your fears vs. passion: what is it that you are really passionate about? If there is something that truly moves you, that you cannot stop thinking and dreaming about, that you believe you absolutely have to do or you will go crazy - that is your passion. And comparing it to the fears and the "what ifs", what will out weight the other one? Facing fears in light of your passion is definitely worth it, especially when it involves helping others. You never know how a project you have in mind may help others (whether inspirational, or practical solutions that they needed, etc.). So with this in mind, get a support group or a mentor that will keep you accountable and ask for updates on your work.
- Go back to the basics: Sometimes we fail ourselves, our support group may fail us, our mundane tasks will get in the way - this is just life, it happens. So then discouragement will creep in. Go back to the basics, to remembering why you are doing this. What sparked the idea? Where were you when the light bulb went off? What were you doing? Do what it takes to remember it: write it down, tell someone the story. Just remember where you are coming from.
- Remember this: For God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self discipline. - 2 Timothy 1L7 (NLT). Pray and give up your fears, ask for peace, guidance and courage in everything you do, and always thank God for the dream he has given you.
Fears are a very real thing, we all face them. More often than not our fears become the limit we impose on ourselves, the excuse we give, and the thing we abhor the most. But fears are also a great way to track our progress - the more we do, the bigger the risks and fears. But perhaps also the more worthy our endeavors are. So don't give up. Continue fighting. Search for perseverance and look for solutions daily. Life is an Adventure. See the glass half-full. Live our your story in light of God's purpose for your life.
