Of getting here and dreams

Life seems to be such a blur. 

Seriously, the older I grow, the faster time seems to go by, the harder I have to chase my dreams. But also, the closer they seem to be. I know I've written about this before, but I do it once again, as I am starting to understand it a bit better.

 This is the time. The time to decide what we really want our lives to be like. The time to decide what is really important and what isn't. The time for changes, for decisions, for adventures, and for risk. 

Because if not now, then when? I ask myself this often. If it is difficult now, how much more difficult will it be when we have a mortgage and the weight (responsibility) of that is on us? How about when we have kids? I am no longer a kid, but I realize now, that being an adult is a good thing.

My dreams are more achievable because the tools are now available. I am no longer (in a sense), a foreigner - I now have the freedom to work wherever I please, and to finish studying at a much more affordable rate.

I feel so incredibly blessed. All these things I've ever wanted are at my fingertips!! 

I am giddy with excitement! 

I have been truly blessed to be one of those people that have known what I wanted for a long, long time. I've just been held back from them by different situations that have been completely out of my control - and that, in itself, has been a huge blessing as well. Because now that there's not much holding me back from that stuff, I completely appreciate it to the most extreme and possible extent.

My story is not one of violence, or utter despair/hardship. But it hasn't been easy. It has taken a lot of time, effort, tears, hope and love to get here. And when I mention what it has taken, I don't talk about just what I have personally gone through to get here. I also talk about all the people that have extended their hands, homes, hearts; their money, their shoulder, their dreams; their advice, knowledge and experience - all to get me here. Why? I haven't always known or understood. But I am utterly grateful for all that. I am touched by all the gestures along the way, touched to the point of grateful and joyous tears.

 'Thank you' doesn't do justice to my true feelings. So I'll say 'gracias.' The word my parents taught me to say when someone did something nice for me. Something maybe I didn't deserve or expected. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all. And I thank God, for never letting me give up, and because through all the changes, ups, downs, craziness, and awesome times - he has continued to remain the constant aspect of my life.

Every single person that has helped me along the way has given me more than what they helped me with at the time: You have given me a purpose and a dream - to give back by helping others.

There are plans in my head and heart as to how to do this on a bigger scale. This dream has been stirring in me for years, it was cemented the day I boarded a plane to New Zealand, and it has stayed with me ever since. I hope to see it come to life within the next couple of years. I pray constantly about it, I daydream with the day it'll be tangible, I talk Ryan's ear off about it.

There is a long road ahead, but like it was to get to this point, I see it as an absolute must, and definitely worth it. But I cannot wait!